Friday, December 13, 2013

¿Haces tortillas?

Before we get into things, let me point you to a guest post I wrote for the blog No Hay Bronca which is written by my friend TC.  It's called Tortillera and it's about the various words you can use to talk about lesbians in Spanish.  While it's not necessary you read it before this one, be sure to check it out.  And I'm sure you'll enjoy his blog as well.

OK, enough chit-chat, let's get on with it.

¿Haces tortillas? is a seemingly innocent question, but in the right context it's meaning changes completely and isn't quite so innocent.

First of all, let's talk about its innocent meaning, in case you don't know.

¿Haces tortillas?
Do you make tortillas?

But if you're a regular reader of this blog, you know I'm not here to write about making tortillas.

¿Haces tortillas?
Are you a lesbian?

Actually, hacer tortillas is way of referring to lesbian sex in Spanish.  You could have easily translated this as:

¿Haces tortillas?
Do you sleep with woman?

At the end of the day it's another way of asking the same question, so let's not get hung up on translations.

Mi amiga me preguntó, ¿Quieres hacer tortillas conmigo?
My friend asked me, "Do you want to have sex with me?

And just like with the hacer tortillas, you can say hacer arepas to talk to about sex between lesbians in Spanish.  

Vamos a hacer arepas
Let's go have sex

Esas mujeres hacen arepa
Those woman are lesbians

That last one is more of a figurative translation than literal.  And let me add that this expression is something that you'll hear in Venezuela and Colombia as opposed to Mexico.

If you don't know what an arepa is you can read my post tortillera that I mentioned earlier.   

Your Spanish book probably told you that torta means cake, but it's also a way to refer to a lesbian in Spanish.  

And speaking of tortas, that leads us to our next expression,  hacer tortas, which is yet another way of referring to lesbian sex in Spanish.  And don't ask me how baking a cake has anything to do with lesbians in Spanish because I have no idea.  

And if you're thinking we've covered all the ways of talking about lesbian sex in Spanish, you're wrong.  There's also tortear.  

Pareja de lesbianas torteando
A lesbian couple having sex

Si me va a tortear por lo menos invitarme un cafecito primero
If you're going to have sex with me you can at least buy me a coffee first

¿Estás harta de los hombres y pensando en tortear?
You're fed up with men and you're thinking about having sex with women?

Well, that about wraps things up for today.  It should go with out saying these aren't words and expressions you should be tossing around with just anybody, you could easily offend someone, so consider yourself warned.

You can't go around swearing all the time, so be sure to check out my other blogs that will help you improve your everyday Spanish.  My Spanish Notes is all about teaching you the Spanish you won't find in a textbook.  Everything I write about I learned from real life conversations.

My blog Helping You Learn Spanish is all about making the stuff in your Spanish textbook a little easier to understand and offering you advice on how to go from Spanish student to Spanish speaker.

¡Hasta la próxima!


  1. Living in Iowa after living in Mexico, I gotta say the tortillas here suck. So I told the husband that I wanted to make tortillas with the wife of a friend. "Quiero hacer tortillas con la esposa de Florencio." He laughed and laughed and then explained the other significance behind my phrase. I'll never make that mistake again.

    1. That is a funny story! Thanks for sharing.

    2. How would you say what Crazy Rita was trying to say without the sexual connotation? Maybe just say "Quisiera que Juanita me enseñe cocinar comida mexicana?"

    3. Hola Tammera! Yes you could say that, although you're ask her to teach you how to make tortillas. If you know what you're doing and just want to lend a helping hand, you can say:

      Quiero ayudar Juanita hacer las tortillas.

      You could also just avoid "hacer tortillas" altogether and say:

      Quiero ayudar a Juanita preparar las tortillas.

      Thanks for commenting, and I hope this helps!