Sunday, June 5, 2016

Tienes el pito grande

If you look up the word pito in the dictionary, this is what you'll see.

Yep, pito means whistle.   Unless you're in Mexico.

Well, officially pito does still mean whistle in Mexico, but it also has another meaning.  

Unofficially, pito is a euphemism for penis.   The medical term for penis is pene.  Pito is just one of many nicknames of the male body part.  Pito actually isn't all that rude, it's more along the lines of "willy" or whatever innocent name you use to refer to "down there".

I wouldn't call that an exact translation, but you get the point.  It's an innocent word you can use to refer to that special place on a guy.

Now that we know what pito means, we can translate our phrase.

Tienes el pito grande
You have a big whistle

Pipi is another childish term for pene.

Camote is another term Mexicans use as a euphemism for penis.   It actually means sweet potato.

But this blog isn't about nice words, so let's look at some other options.

 Pinga is another euphemism for penis, and is without a doubt, very rude.   While you may see some people translate this as penis, it's really more like the word dick in English.

Aside from the obvious use of the word, you can also use it as an insult.

Todos tenemos un amigo feo y ese eres tu cara de pinga
We all have an ugly friend and that's you dick face

Verga is another very common word for penis.  It's actually a nautical term, meaning yard, but in this context translates to cock.  Again, pretty vulgar.  I also wrote another post about the word verga and you can read it here.

And if you want to tell someone to fuck off using a universal Spanish everyone will understand, verga is your go-to word.

Vete a la verga
Fuck off

Let's get back on track.

In Colombia you'll hear chimbo or monda.

Juan tiene un chimbo muy grande
Juan has a really big dick

Chupame la monda
Suck my dick

That works as a command or an insult btw.

In Argentina you'll hear the word pija

Picha is used in Colombia as well as Costa Rica.

Sin duda the word of choice you'll hear in Spain is polla.

Qué rica polla tienes
You've got some good dick

There are so many terms that we could do this all day, so we'll call it quits here and move on to the next topic.

If you really want to emphasis that someone has a pito grande, there are a couple of ways to say it.

Tienes un grandote
You have a big one

A verga grande is a vergote

A big polla is a pollón

A big pinga is a pingón

You can say a man is pijudo, from the word pija.

Or pichudo from the word picha.

Now, if you need to go the other direction, you can say:

Tienes el pito chico
You have a small willy

Feel free to substitute the word pequeño for chico.

Mi ex tiene chiquito
My ex has a little one

Or you could go with  micro pene.

In fact, if everyone knows what the topic of discussion is, you don't have to say anything at all.  A little body language goes a long way.

And that's for today.  While by no means does this post cover every term you'll hear it's certainly enough to get you started.

¡Hasta la próxima!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Las buenas niñas tragan toda su leche

Las buenas niñas tragan toda su leche 
Good girls drink all of their milk

Yes, leche is Spanish for milk.  You probably knew that.  And if you're a faithful follower of this blog, you also know we're not here to talk about milk.

Well, not that kind of milk anyway.

Like many words in Spanish, leche has a double meaning that can make you the butt of someone's joke if you don't know what that is.  Not to mention you may find yourself in a situation where this double meaning comes in handy.

In today's post I'll be covering (nearly) everything "leche" related.   OK, enough of the stalling, let's get to it.

When it comes to sex, leche is a vulgar way to refer to semen, or cum as we would say in English.  You may also hear it as lechita

Dame la leche papi
Give me that cum baby

Quiero tu lechita papi
I want your cum baby

By the way, this isn't something a guy would say to a girl.

If you want to be boring, or maybe just polite, Spanish has the words semen and espermas also.

Leche isn't the only term for cum, you can also use mocos or mecos.  At least in Mexico you can.  And as a side note, mocos also means snot, so don't get yourself in an embarrassing situation.  In Spain you can use lefa.

El vestido de Monica Lewinsky es manchado de mecos
Monica Lewinsky's dress has cum stains

Yeah, I went there.

Here in the US we sometimes use the word jizz instead of cum, but it translates the same.

Speaking of jizz, that brings us to the verbs to jizz or to cum.  Like most things in life, there's more than one way to skin a cat, so you've got options.

There's the verb eyacular which is a direct translation of to ejaculate, but unless you're in health class or talking to your doctor, I'd use one of the other options.

Now, if you're in Spain, you'll probably hear correrse.

Me corro en tu cara
I'm going to cum in you face.

Quiero que te corras en mi culo
I want you to come on my ass

By the way, that last example uses the subjunctive for all you grammar lovers.  I don't recommend you use it as an example in class though.

In Mexico and Latin America, you'll hear venirse.

Me vengo
I'm cumming

Also remember I said guys can't say "Dame la leche" to a woman?  Well guys, this one you can.

Quiero que te vengas
I want you to cum

There's also acabar or terminar for this.  Terminar is pretty vanilla, meaning to finish.

¿Ya terminaste?
Did you finish yet?

Acabar, however, is another story.  In many countries acabar is considered vulgar.

Te voy a acabar en las tetas
I'm going to cum on your tits

Voy a acabar
I'm going to cum

The all mighty verb echar can also come in handy in these situations.

Échame la lefa en la cara
Shoot your jizz in my face

We've talked about the act of freeing our little friends, so let's talk about what you call the result of echando mecos.

Corridas, venidas and acabadas are all ways of referring to what the porn industry likes to call the cum shot.

Now we get to the famous question:

I'm not sure if you swallow or spit?

To answer this question, you'll need the word tragar, to swallow.  Just to be clear, the verb tragar is for swallowing anything, not just mecos.

Me gusta mucho tragar el semen. ¿Esto es normal?
I love to swallow semen.  Is that normal?

A person (man or a woman) that does this sort of thing is called a traga leche.

Esa chica es una traga leche
She's a cum swallower

Or you could say something like the below which conveys the same idea.

A esa morra le gusta tragar los mecos
That girl loves to swallow cum

Well, that's it for today.  Or maybe I should say that's enough.

¡Hasta la próxima!

Friday, April 3, 2015

Las Malas Palabras del Vacilón

I spend a lot of time watching Spanish videos on YouTube and I just happened to come across a video that I just had to share with my faithful readers.

El Vacilón is a radio personality and he decided to make a video is about words that you can't say on the radio - palabras que no puede decir en el aire, that means this is going to be good!

This is a nice collection of swear words from various countries and the really great thing is the video is like a Spanish lesson, you get to see and hear the words.   It just doesn't get any better than that.  They don't always explain what the words mean, but I'll do my best to help you out with that.

So if you're the impatient type and have a good command of Spanish, here's the video and I'll let you to get right to it.  By the way, if you're reading this in your email and you don't see the video or it won't play it I've included the link:

Las Malas Palabras del Vacilón

For those of you that still need to build up your Spanish ears, don't worry, I'll walk you through the highlights of the video.

Let's take a look at the words in the video, in order of appearance.


Chingar is a Mexican word and  when they talk about it in the video, they don't really give a definition for it.  The good news is I've talked about it several times (13 posts as to date), so you can just click here and get a really good idea what it means and how to use it.  In fact, there are so many uses of chingar that someone wrote a book on it, The Chingonario.

Two of the most common uses of chingar are to tell someone fuck you or fuck off.

Chinga tu madre 
Fuck you

Yes, for those of you making a literal translation, it does mean "fuck your mother".  but don't get caught up with literal translations.

If that isn't a strong enough of an insult for you, you can turn it up a notch.

Chinga tu puta madre

It means the same thing, but much, much stronger.  Now, like any good cuss word, you can use it with friends and get a good laugh, like in this 21 second video:

But make no mistake about it, these two phrases can get you in a lot of trouble.  Said out of anger, be prepared to be cursed out or have your ass kicked.  You've been warned. 

I don't think you can get anymore Mexican than this next phrase.

Vete a la chingada
Fuck off

What and where is the chingada you ask?  That's another blog post in it self.


Although it wasn't written on the board, they mention this one during the discussion of chingar.  It means to fuck, at least in Puerto Rican and Caribbean Spanish.  Not everyone is going to understand this one, it may have a different meaning altogether for the person you're talking to.

Te quiero chichar todo el día
I want to fuck you all day long


One of the many words that means pussy.  It's used in Colombia, Puerto Rico and Guatemala to name a few places.  Other words for pussy you may hear are cuca, coño, panocha and concha

Here's a web page you can look at to see you what it means in various countries.

Que rica chocha tiene Juanita
Juanita has some good pussy

You can safely substitute chocha for any of the aforementioned terms for pussy and the sentence carries the same meaning.

Ladies, you can replace the word chocha with any word for dick (like verga) to compliment or entice your lover. 

Quiero tu verga adentro papi
I want your dick inside me baby

Me gusta tu verga
I like your dick


While the verb coger has many very legitimate uses in the Spanish language, one of it's colloquial definitions is to fuck.  Mexico is the country that typically gets all the glory for using coger in this sense, but several countries use the word coger in that sense, including Argentina, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Venezuela and more.  In fact that meaning of coger is well known throughout all the Spanish speaking world, so don't let anyone fool you into thinking Mexico has the corner on that market. 

Some other terms you may hear that mean to fuck are follar, singar,  and culear (sometimes spelled culiar).  Also, for some Spanish speakers the work culear means to specifically have anal sex.

Siempre me coges bien
You always fuck me good


Coño is another one of those diverse words that has many meanings, one of which is damn, but it can also mean pussy or fuck.  While coño seems to be more of a Caribbean term, it's understood everywhere.  The translation can vary in strength and meaning, depending on what country you're in and the context.


Take a look at this video.  If you don't see it below click here.

Echar un polvo

This expression is definitely well know throughout the Spanish speaking world.   It pretty much translates to fuck or screw, so yeah, it's vulgar.  I don't recommend you use it in front of your grandmother.

¿Echamos un polvo?
Do you want to fuck?

Anoche me eché un polvo con Miguel
I fucked Miguel last night


Another word meaning to fuck.  They also make a reference to the word rapar, which is a Domincan word that means the same thing. 

Te quiero follar
I want to fuck you

Tengo que rapar esa mamacita
I have to fuck that sexy babe

Hijo de la chingada

This one brings us back into the world of Mexican Spanish.  Think of it as the equivalent to son-of-a-bitch or even motherfucker.  A more universal version would be hijo de puta.


You'll see this written as hijueputa, or even jueputa, as I heard in Costa Rica.  It's basically an exclamation that could mean son-of-bitch, shit or even fuck depending on what country or region you're in as well as context.

What an ugly son-of-a-bitch

Mamagüevo, mamahuevo, mama huevo, mama guevo

No matter how you spell it, the meaning doesn't change.  It means cocksucker.

You're a cocksucker

¡No me hables asi mamaguevo!
Don't talk to me like that you cocksucker!

You can even use it call someone a homosexual.  Here are a couple other words that mean the same thing.

Chupa verga, chupa pija, mama verga, chupa pollas

And like most swear words, mamaguevo could take on a slightly different meaning based on context.


You'll hear one of the gentlemen in the video shout out that a mamón is a fruit in the Dominican Republic, and he's right.

But depending on where you are in the Spanish speaking world, it has other meanings.  And it's meaning varies dramatically from country to country.  In all honesty, this word is so diverse I don't really have a good handle on it, but I can tell you why you can't say it on the radio.

It can be used to call someone a homosexual (in a vulgar way of course), a synonym of marica.  A guy who sucks cock, faggot if you will.  You get the idea.

If you're talking about a woman, mamóna, she likes to give guys oral sex.

But you really need to do your research on this one, it can have non-vulgar meanings in some countries. 


While not quite as exciting as the other words in the video, this is one you should still have in your toolbox.  It means to piss.

Ahora vengo, voy a mear
I'll be right back, I'm going to take a piss


Another universally understood word, mierda means shit, and you can use it as both a noun and an exclamation.


Hueles a mierda
You smell like shit

Fuck this, I'm going to be a stripper


Well, here's yet another word that means pussy, although it's mostly used in Mexico.  You'll probably hear it Central America as well, and probably a few other places.

By the way, you can't use this word or any of the other words (like la cuca or el toto) to insult some as we do with the word pussy in English.

Chúpame la panocha papi
Eat my pussy baby


Puta is most commonly used to refer to prostitutes (and not in a good way) but can also mean bitch, slut or even used as an exclamation like "fuck!".

Las mejores putas trabajan en los fines de semanas
The best prostitutes work on the weekends

Mano, tu novia es bien puta.  La ví con Manuel anoche
Dude, your girlfriend is a real slut.  I saw her with Manuel last night.

You're a whore,  case closed



A Dominican word meaning to fuck.

Síngame rico papi
Fuck me good baby


It doesn't get any easier than this.  It means tits.

Que buenas tetas tienes
You've got nice tits

Tirarse a is another way to talk about having sex.  Well, at least in Venezuela, México, España and probably several other countries.  This is a phrase where you really need to know your audience.  And yes, it's vulgar, like all the other words in this post. 

Me tiré a Juana
I fucked Juana

Quiero tirarme a ese chico
I want to fuck that guy


Another Dominican word and yet another word for pussy.

Tienes el toto apretadito 
You've got a really tight pussy


Another universal word meaning dick or cock.  While there are many words to refer to the male body part, this is the strongest.  It's also used in several expressions, and in those contexts can usually be translated as fuck.

Que verga tan grande tienes
You've got a big dick

With all due respect, fuck off

And that's about it for this video.

To wrap things up, keep in mind the meaning of these words can change from country to country.  In one place it could the most vulgar word in the dictionary and in another place it's completely harmless. I've done my best to point out what these words mean in various countries, but you have to know your audience.

Hopefully you've learned enough bad words to keep you busy for a while.   Lastly, check out ¡Que Boquita!  which is a Spanish phrasebook for Android that will help you swear like a native speaker.  It gives you the real meaning and English equivalents of Spanish swear words, and equally important, tells you what country each word or phrase is used in.   It's the wilder side of My Spanish Phrasebook, which is designed to help you with real life conversational Spanish.

¡Hasta la próxima!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

¡Vamos a un teybol dans!

One look at the picture and you'll know exactly what today's topic is.

Yep, you guessed, strip clubs.  You definitely won't find this lesson in your Spanish book.  Some of what I'm going to share with you is Mexican Spanish, so keep that in mind.

Before you can even go to a strip club, you need to know what they're called.

In Mexico, sin duda, the word you want is teibol.  And it's pronounced exactly like the word table in English.

Vamos a un teibol
Let's go to a strip club

But as you can see by the picture there's more than one way to spell it, but I think teibol is more common than teybol.  And yes, you'll also see it written as just plain old table.

The names for these places vary from country to country, so here are some of the words you're likely to hear:

Club de streaptease, local de Striptease, estrip clubcabarébar de strippers and burdel.

So what do you call the ladies who work in teibols?

That's right, teiboleras.  There are many other names that teiboleras go by so let's start with the ones that have direct English counter parts.

Bailarina exótica - Exotic Dancer
Bailarina - Dancer
Estriper/stripper - Stripper (Yes, this is Spanglish)
Bailarina de cabaré - Caberet Dancer

This next set of words may be easier to understand if you read a post I made on my other blog:

¿Por qué estás en cueros en la sala?

So now that you've done your homework,  here's the second set of words:

Encueradas,  encueratriz, desnudistabichicoris (bichi), cueritaestripticera

If you read the post I pointed you to above, this will be a quick review.

To be "en cueros" is to be naked.  Therefore an encuerada is a naked woman.  Now, I'm not exactly sure where cuerita comes from.  Cuero refers to leather, or animal skin, so a cuerita may very well be a female leather worker.  If you've got the 411 on this please share by leaving a comment below.

An encueratriz is a woman who is in the business of getting naked.

Desnudar means to get naked.  A desnudista is therefore a woman who gets naked.

As for estripticera, all I can tell you is that it's yet another word stripper.

So now it's time to talk about some of the things you'll see inside a strip club.  Well, I mean, you know, these are things someone told me you'll see in a strip club.

The stripper pole is called a tubo.  And I'm not sure that sweet little abuelita should be anywhere near one.

Proponen que el baile del tubo esté en las Olimpiadas
They're proposing that pole dancing should be in the Olympics

The stage is called a pisto.  And of course once the music starts our bailerina is going to quita la ropa (take off her clothes) or se desnuda (get naked).

If your teibolera isn't getting naked fast enough, you can use this little jingle to let her know.

Mucha ropa, mucha ropa...

Literally it means "a lot of clothes".  Figuratively in English:

Mucha ropa
Take it off

You gotta sing it though: mucha roopa, mucha roopa.  Stretch that "o" out a little bit on the word ropa.  I couldn't find an audio file, so I decided to record one myself using my very gringo accent.  Here's what it sounds like.

Of course the absolute best way to get a bailerina desnuda (naked) is to dar propina.

¿Me das propina bebe?
Are you going to tip me baby?

Si te quitas la ropa te doy más propina
If you take your clothes off I'll give you a bigger tip

FYI, Dar propina is the expression you use for any kind of tipping, not just in a teibol dans.

Once a teibolera finishes her baile (dance) the DJ (pronounced el D yay) will shout out aplauso, apluaso - applause.  I mean, come on, this person just got naked for you, a little aplauso is just common courtesy.

Since you're in a teibol, a teibolera may offer her services to you.

¿Quieres un baile? 
Would you like a dance?

¿Quieres un privado?
Do you want a private dance?

Y ya está.  Everything you need to get you started in the world of teybol dans

¡Hasta la próxima!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

El Beso de Payaso

First things first, in case you don't know, this is a payaso:

That's right, a clown.  A beso is a kiss, and a beso de payaso has nothing to do with getting a kiss from a clown.  So what is a beso de payaso you ask?  Read on....

If you know what the American expression "getting your redwings" means, then you know exactly what a beso de payaso is.

A beso de payaso is when you have oral sex with a woman on her menstrual cycle.  Yeah, I know, it's not the most glamorous image to have in your head, unless you're into that kind of stuff.  But don't worry, I won't judge you.

So why is this called a beso de payaso?  Well, it's as simple as this.  A clown has red lips, and after you, well, you know, you're going to have a red lips too.  And that's why it's called a beso de payaso.

Quiero hacerte un beso del payaso
I want to eat you when you're on your period

¿Te exita el beso de payaso?
Does going down a woman on her period excite you?

My translation of el beso de payaso isn't exact, but it certainly conveys the idea quite well.  And before I forget, this is very much Mexican slang, so I'm not sure it would be understood by other Spanish speakers.

Let's digress just a little bit, but it's very much related to the topic at hand.

Having sex with a woman who is en sus días (on her period), is called a vampirazo.  At least in Mexico it is.

Me heche un vampirazo con mi novia
I had sex with my girlfriend while she was on her period

That's it for today, and given the topic I suspect that's enough.

You can learn more about the proper terms to discuss a woman's menstrual cycle and get a good laugh at the same time with a very funny video I found, so be sure to read my post, No me baja

Also be sure to follow my other blogs.

My Spanish Notes
Helping You Learn Spanish

¡Hasta la próxima!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Síngame rico papi

You've probably heard the two most common verbs to talk about having sex.  Coger and follar.

Actually, Tener sexo or tener relaciones sexual mean to have sex.  Coger and follar mean to fuck.  And so do the rest of the words I'm about to share with you.  Today we're here to learn several ways of saying to fuck in Spanish.

I need to point out that most of these words don't actually mean to fuck in Spanish, not from a dictionary perspective that is.  These are all colloquial uses.  Be sure to take the time to learn their actual definitions as you'll need them for everyday speech as well.

Let's start with coger.

Mexico is famous for it's use of coger, but what many Spanish learners don't know is it's also widely used  in Argentina, Costa Rica, Peru, Venezuela, Panama and probably several other countries.  You can read about what coger means in various countries at a website called AsiHablamos.

Mi novio me quiere ver coger con otro
My boyfriend wants to see fuck someone else

¿Quieres coger?
Do you want to fuck?

In España follar is the word of choice for saying to fuck in Spanish, and it's understood pretty much everywhere, even if they prefer a different word.  And unlike several of the other words, the dictionary definition of follar is to fuck.

Fuck me

¿Es cierto que las gordas follan mejor?
Is it true that fat girls fuck better?

By the way, cogida and follada are ways to talk about a "fuck".

A mi me gusta ser follada bien fuerte por detras
I like to be fucked really hard from behind

Me dio una buena cogida por el culo
He fucked me in the ass really good

While coger and follar are pretty much universal terms, they aren't the only words used to talk about fucking.

In Mexico you'll also hear the word chingar used to talk about fucking, although coger is the word of choice and the one you'll most likely hear.

Te quiero chingar
I want to fuck you

A esa vieja sí me la chingo
Yeah I'll fuck that girl

By the way, chingar has un chingo (a shitload) of meanings and several words that are derived from it.  Lucky for us someone actually wrote the book on chingar, it's called The Chingonario.  I've also written about some of the many common uses of chingar.  Check out some my posts on chingar by searching the blog.

Let's get back to the task at hand.

The Dominican Republic has a few interesting words, singar and rapar.

Esa rapa más que los perros
That girl fucks more than dogs

Anoche di una rapa tremenda con María
Last night I fucked María good

Here's a a very common phrase you'll hear in the Dominican Republic:

El que toma Brugal pelea o rapa
Who ever drinks Brugal either fights or fucks

If you want to know more about Brugal, read my post about some very popular alcoholic beverages in the Dominican Republic.

Up next is singar.

Síngame rico papi 
Fuck me good baby

Sabes porque anoche Pablo y María se desaparecieron? Estaban singando en su carro
You know why Pablo and Maria disappeared last night?   They were fucking in his car.

Me voy a singar a mi novia
I'm leaving to go fuck my girlfriend

Culear is another word that means to fuck in Spanish, and you'll hear it in Colombia for sure.

¿Cuándo vamos a culear? Nunca.
When are we going to fuck?  Never.

You may also see it written as culiar.  Culiar or culear is used in several countries and almost always means to fuck, but in some places it means to have anal sex.  In a very vulgar way of course.  You have to know your audience.

Tirarse is another word that means to fuck in Spanish and is used in a number of countries such as Colombia, Peru, Venezuela and others.

Voy a tirarme con esa vieja
I'm going to fuck that girl

Ayer me tiré a dos bellezas, qué trío
Yesterday I fucked two beautiful girls, what a threesome

Notice the correct way to use this is "Tirarse a".  If you're not up to speed on your reflexive verbs, read my post on reflexive verbs.

Well, that's it for today.  Each country has it's own terms and this list is far from complete, but it's certainly a good start.

Here are other posts that you may find interesting.

1. Vamos a matar el oso a puñaladas
2. Todo el mundo quiere hacerme un griego
3. Esa vieja ya esta muy chingada

And if you're looking to learn a bit of regular Spanish, then check out my other blogs, My Spanish Notes and Helping You Learn Spanish.

¡Hasta luego!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Todo el mundo quiere hacerme un griego

I've talked about a lot of things in blog and today I realized I've never given the subject of anal sex its due.  Today we're going to fix that, so let's get started.

You could just go with sexo anal.  Make sure you use your Spanish pronunciation BTW.

Quiero tener sexo anal
I want to have anal sex

Effective, but boring.  Here's a few other ways of talking about sexo anal.

Let's start with something mild and work our way up.

Sexo por la cola...

Mi novio quiere hacerlo por la cola
My boyfriend wants to do it in the butt

Sexo por atras is another mild way of talking about sexo anal.

Quiero hacerlo por atrás
I want to do it from behind

Un griego is yet another way of referring to sexo anal

Quiero hacerte un griego
I want to have anal sex with you

Ponerme a cuatro pata y hacerme un griego
Put me on all fours and have anal sex with me

Todo el mundo quiere hacerme un griego
Everybody wants to have anal sex with me

Hacer un polaco also refers to sexo anal

Alright, it's time to turn it up a notch.  After all, isn't that what this blog is all about?

There's nothing mild about this one:

Quiero cogerte por el culo
I want to fuck you in the ass

Quiero que me des por el culo
I want you to give it to me in the ass

I've used coger in the above examples, but follar is another word that means to fuck. If you're in Spain that's your best choice.  But don't worry, either way you'll be understood.

Fóllame por el culo
Fuck me in the ass

Metamelo por el culo
Stick it in my ass

Well, there are probably even more ways to skin this cat, but I think that's enough for one day.  But before I let you go, since we're in that geographical area, it would be wrong of me not to mention a beso negro.

What is a beso negro you ask?  Literally it means a black kiss, but it actually refers to kissing the ano (anus).

Quiero darte un beso negro
I want to kiss your anus

Don't worry I don't judge, I just inform. 

And that's it.  Everything you need to know about sexo por el culo.  Or at least enough to get you started.

¡Hasta la próxima!