Me vale tres kilos de reata

If you've never seen the word reata before, it means rope.  In fact, if you Google it you'll find this nifty photo:

That guys pretty handy with a reata.  But all of my faithful readers know I'm not writing this post to tell you about a rope, so let's get down to business.

The word reata has another meaning, something along the lines of dick, or maybe even cock.  Translation isn't an exact science, so take your pick, dick or cock.  Either way it's vulgar, and that's all we care about in this blog.

So with that definition in mind, we can now say cool stuff like:

Te voy a meter toda la reata
I'm going to stick all of my cock in you

Not the most romantic thing I've ever heard, but hey, some chicks are into that kind of talk.

You can also say:

Chupame la reata
Suck my dick

Me dejó con la reata caliente

This doesn't have a literal translation, well, not one that makes sense, but figuratively speaking it would be:

She left me with a hard dick

In other words, he didn't get any.  Must have been something he said.

Before I forget, this is very much Mexican slang, so you can expect to get some confused looks if your Spanish speaking friends aren't Mexican or familiar with the expression.  

Reata also has another use.

Me vale tres kilos de reata

If we try to translate that literally two very important things are going happen.  One, it won't make sense, and two, you're wasting your time.  So let me tell you what it really means.

Me vale tres kilos de reata
I don't give a fuck

Fuck might be a little to strong, but then again maybe not.  Like I always say, translation is a tricky business.  One thing is for sure, this is not for polite company.

Notice I said tres (3) kilos de reata.  The number isn't important, stick whatever number that works for you in there, 5, 7, 10, 25, whatever.  

You can use this expression to talk about anything you don't care about.  Here are a few more examples:

Que si amas mucho a tu novio me vale 3 kilos de reata
I don't fucking care if you really do love your boyfriend

Me vale 20 mil kilos de reata la NFL
I don't give a fuck about the NFL

Pues me vale 3 kilos de reata lo que pienses
I don't give a fuck what you think

If you want to mix things up a bit, you can say

Me vale madres or Me vale verga

All three translate to the same thing, I don't give a fuck.  You can substitute me vale verga/madres for tres kilos de reata equally.  By the way, verga is also another way to say dick/cock.

And there you have it.   Hasta la próxima.